Saturday, November 28, 2009
umph!
The umph is missing. I know no other way to describe it. In almost every area except maybe in being a dad the umph- the energy, the excitement, the passion it is just gone. I have tried sooo hard to conjure it up lately-new workouts, new shoes, new thinking and reading but it is still just not quite there! I guess I only blog this to just get it out there- outside my head and maybe that will force me to begin to deal w/ it in some other way. Maybe some one out there will read this whether intinally or just by stumbling across it and have some idea of help!!??? Anyway at least I have admitted it and that seems to be the first step in recovery!
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2 comments:
I love you, and our life has seen it's share of ups and downs and all arounds. I don't think you realize how much stress you have been under lately, but I do. I appreciate you being my protector, more now than ever before, during my journey towards better health and through my recent sickness. You are a 'healer'... and we've been going through some times where that the healing comes week by week rather than day by day or hour by hour. When you can't intellectualize yourself out of it, it makes the situation even more depressing. When you can't 'fix' what's wrong, it makes the situation flat out despairing. I'm proud you are with me. I'm proud of YOU. Don't worry about the 'umph'... we will both get it back in our lives! Week by week, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.
Is missing the umph, the same has having the blahs? If so you're not alone! I often feel "blah" in all areas but being a daddy too, but I know then I think..."She's gonna grow up soon and I'm not gonna be as cool"
I think I just need an adventure or something...maybe traveling down the Nile in search of wild animals or something...maybe jumping out of an airplane....or buying a new convertible. WAITE!, How old am I? HA! You inspire me man with your running; wish I had the discipline and heart to do that... Your not alone man...
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